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Monday April 10, 2006. Issue 0020, There was "slick Willy," now we have "soppy Bush."
In today's issue:
  • *permanent headline* More die in Iraq

  • Bush plans to nuke Iran

  • Scientists say more big-ass
    hurricanes on the way!

  • A rant about perceptions on education

  • Bush tries to pretend like planning to
    nuke Iran is a normal thing to do
    ("come on, it's no big deal")

  • More 9/11 email

  • Gas going up some more

  • Monster rabbit terror!!!

  • Why the Prez is a douche who leaks
    too much

  • Laser to cure everything!
The page is finally back!  Two things were hindering me.  One I expected and one that is a result of living
in a third world country (Hawaii).  I knew that I had family visiting for Spring break and warned all of you
ahead of time about that but what I didn't see coming was Verizon breaking their Hawaiian operations into
a unit now known as "Hawaiian Telecom."  They decided to make the official switch on April Fool's Day
(how appropriate) and when the time came to make everything official they vaporized the Internet.

*poof*

The Internet was gone for everyone in Hawaii that has DSL.  A half million customers in all I hear. So, after
a week of trying to entertain myself by doing things like reading and interacting with other "humans"
Hawaiian Tel finally came through and here I am.

Solid.
Bush administration 'secretly plans air strikes' as it seeks regime
change in Iran
Here.

Excerpt:

The Bush administration has sent undercover forces into Iran, and has stepped up secret
planning for a possible major air attack on the country, according to the renowned US
investigative journalist Seymour Hersh.

While publicly advocating diplomacy to stop Iran from pursuing a nuclear weapon, Hersh
reports in the next issue of The New Yorker magazine that "there is a growing conviction
among members of the United States military, and in the international community, that President
Bush's ultimate goal in the nuclear confrontation with Iran is regime change".

One former senior intelligence official is quoted as saying that Mr Bush and others in the White
House have come to view Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as a potential "Adolf Hitler".
According to a senior Pentagon adviser on the "war on terror", "this White House believes that
the only way to solve the problem is to change the power structure in Iran, and that means
war". The danger, he adds, is that "it also reinforces the belief inside Iran that the only way to
defend the country is to have a nuclear capability".

Where is Yogi to say, "it's deja vu all over again"?

Has anyone in Washington ever figured out that the only way Iran has ever changed is when we let them
do their own thing without meddling?  Prior to every election Iran has the liberal reformer is in the lead and
the Bush goes on the air claiming that everyone in Iran should vote for the reform candidate and
everybody freaks out and votes for the hard-line mullah candidate.  This is because everyone in the
Middle East knows that if Bush supports something it can't be good.

Had Bush learned to keep his trap shut at least two reform candidates would have won election by now.

If Bush has an opinion on anything in Iran he should just shut his hole and let the EU and the UN deal with
it.

Just look at this part:

Critics of military action against Iran point out that it would convulse world oil markets and
could lead to retaliation in Iraq. Mr Hersh says he was told by a Pentagon adviser that the
southern half of Iraq, where Britain's 8,000 troops are based, would "light up like a candle" in
the wake of any strike on Iran, while a general said that, despite the British presence, "the
Iranians could take Basra with 10 mullahs and a sound truck".

Oh yeah.  This is going to turn out well...

The greatest disquiet within the military is said to be over the possibility of using nuclear
weapons against Iran. Some planners argue that it would be impossible to be certain that
underground facilities such as those at Natanz had been completely destroyed unless a nuclear
"bunker-buster" was used. Mr Hersh says he was told by a former senior intelligence official
that some officers had talked about resigning after an attempt to remove the nuclear option
from the war plans failed.

The Pentagon adviser warns, as do many others, that bombing Iran could provoke "a chain
reaction" of attacks on American facilities and citizens throughout the world. "What will 1.2
billion Muslims think the day we attack Iran?" he asks.

Bush has done a thousand things worthy of impeachment.  Forget all of that.  We need to remove him just
to keep the human race alive.
Contact
Scientists are telling us to expect some more big-ass hurricanes in the
near future.  Good luck, half of world's population.
Here.

Excerpt(s):

Emanuel has seized upon Landsea's correction and inserted it into his measure of a storm's
intensity called the "power dissipation index," which estimates the overall destructive potential
of a storm.

Emanuel's calculations show a rise in activity to about 1950, followed by a decline to about 1980,
then a rapid increase

The cooling between 1950 and 1980, he and some other climate scientists say, is a
consequence of sulfate aerosols, which blacken the atmosphere and block some sun rays from
reaching the Earth's surface.

The north Atlantic Ocean, they say, goes through decades-long warming and cooling cycles
when it spawns more and fewer hurricanes. The current "active" period for hurricanes began
in 1995.

Scientists have dubbed this natural cycle the "Atlantic Multidecadal Oscillation," or AMO, and
since ocean temperatures have been on the upswing for the past decade, so too has hurricane
activity. The seas should settle down again in a decade or two, scientists say.

But what if they're wrong?

One of the world's most prominent hurricane researchers, the Massachusetts Institute of
Technology's Kerry Emanuel, has proposed a stunning theory that suggests the AMO has a
minor effect on hurricanes — and may not even exist at all.

Way to kill ourselves, Earthlings.
Contact
This comic pisses me off...  A bit.  It assumes that education in this day and age is a simple thing.  It is not.  
To be a successful, educated adult in America today one has to learn magnitudes more information than
at any other time in history.  This is why standardized testing is a bad thing.

People like to pretend like when they went to school in the 50s (or whatever decade you want to pick that
were the "good ol' days") things were so much better.  Bullshit.  The morons that our schools produce
today didn't even have the opportunity to attend classes back in the 50s.  That is improvement number
one.

Also, think about what kids learned back then.  Columbus was a hero.  The Spanish American War was
fought because Spain needed an ass kicking.  Plate tectonics is not real.  Darwin is evil.  Everyone that is
not you is a god-less communist.  Boys play with tools, girls play with baby diapers.  And Heaven forbid if
you had to go to school with a black person...

When I was a senior in high school I got in an argument with my social studies teacher.  He was talking
about this tribe in Papua New Guinea that until a boy was 13 he was a child and could do all sorts of
children things but when he turned 13 they tied a vine around his legs and made him jump out of a tree.  If
he lived he was now a man and he took a wife and the responsibilities of what it was to be a provider and
an adult.  He then compared this to Americans whose adolescence stretches way beyond the thirteenth
year.  For many it lasts until their thirties.  Living at home, going to school, etc...

He wondered why Americans couldn't be responsible at 13 like the Papuans.  He didn't like my response.  I
told him that Americans' adolescence lasted so long because we have way more to learn.  By the time a
Papuan is 13 he probably has learned pretty much all there is to know to make it in his world. He knows
how to fish, hunt birds, pick breadfruit, make a hut and do whatever else is required to get by in his
society.  Meanwhile in America 13 year olds are finally making it to state history, being introduced to basic
algebra, learning about the interior organs of a frog, playing in three organized sports leagues a year,
learning trumpet for the school band, getting introduced to HTML programming, writing their first
non-formulaic research papers, starting a foreign language...  They still have the Humanities, evolution,
cellular structure, algebra, trig, calculus, American history, world history, Shakespeare, philosophy, more
language, advanced programming or computer applications, current events, sports, music, art (all kinds),
physics, chemistry, world literature, world views, conflict, American government...

...That is just high school.

When they go to college they will see even more of this and then have to pick witch one of these topics (or
"other") that they want to specialize in.  There is more written about cellular structure alone in the last 20
years than was ever written about anything
ever from the start of humanity until the turn of the 20th
century.

A 13 year old Papuan has mastered his education.  A 20 year old American may still have 6 years of
school left.

Let's not also forget all the pop culture Americans manage to consume and master.  I agree that many
people are wicked retarded but that is because their interests lie in not what will make them a success
financially but in how much weight Britney Spears has gained since squirting out her doomed child.
Contact
Books bound with human skin are more common than you might
think...
White House tries to poopoo the fact that it is exploring the use of
nuclear weapons in Iran
Here.

Excerpt:

The White House on Sunday sought to dampen the idea of a U.S. military strike on Iran, saying
the United States is conducting "normal defense and intelligence planning" as President Bush
seeks a diplomatic solution to Tehran's suspected nuclear weapons program.

Administration officials _ from President Bush on down _ have left open the possibility of a
military response if Iran does not end its nuclear ambitions. Several reports published Sunday
said the administration was studying options for military strikes; one account raised the
possibility of using nuclear bombs against Iran's underground nuclear sites.

Can we believe anything they say?  First Bush says that war with Iraq was a last resort.  Lie.  Then he says
that if anyone is caught leaking classified material to the press they would be fired.  Lie (he still has
his
job).  Now he says that exploring the use of nuclear weapons in Iran is "normal".  No, exploring the use of
nuclear arms against the Soviets 30 years ago is "normal".  Exploring the use of nuclear arms against Iran
is just plain stupid.
Contact
Some more 9/11 email...
Subject: (none)
From: Dennis
would account for eyewitness descriptions of the airplane
striking the ground short of the Pentagon.

There should then be damage in front of the Pentagon where the (insert your favorite flying
object here) struke the ground, no?  I can’t find any in any of the pre-collapse pictures at the
Pentagon, so…
What witness accounts would those be?  Maybe something like this?:

Singleton, Jack
"Where the plane came in was really at the construction entrance," says Jack Singleton,
president of Singleton Electric Co. Inc., Gaithersburg MD, the Wedge One electrical
subcontractor. "The plane's left wing actually came in near the ground and the right wing was
tilted up in the air. That right wing went directly over our trailer, so if that wing had not tilted up,
it would have hit the trailer. My foreman, Mickey Bell, had just walked out of the trailer and was
walking toward the construction entrance."
"Saving the Pentagon, Part 1: Damage Control - Pentagon Shifts Into Higher Gear," by Victoria L. Tanner,
Design·Build Web Magazine, October 2001
So what was it you were trying to find?  If the plane had hit the ground it would have had to go through that
trailer to do it.
Contact
The Sonics are doing that whole, "we're a pro sports team and we need a new
stadium even though you just spent a bajillion dollars renovating our old
stadium making it practically new.  If we don't get it now, we're gone."

Try winning some games first, Sonics management.  Also, you should fire
Wally Walker while you are at it.  He sucks.  Always has.
Gas prices jump again
Here.

Excerpt:

Retail gas prices across the country soared an average of nearly 17 cents in the past two
weeks, according to a survey released Sunday.

The weighted average for all three grades increased to $2.69 a gallon by Friday, said Trilby
Lundberg, who publishes the semimonthly Lundberg Survey of 7,000 gas stations in the country.

Self-serve regular averaged $2.67 a gallon. Mid-grade cost $2.76 a gallon while premium hit
$2.86 a gallon.

Among the stations surveyed, the lowest average price in the country for regular unleaded was
in Salt Lake City at $2.28 a gallon. The most expensive was in Honolulu, where drivers paid
$2.88 a gallon.

Honolulu is lucky, here in Hilo I just filled up at $3.09 and on the other side of the Island it's at $3.15.  It is
still better than the $4.05 I paid back in September.  Hawaii really needs to get some public transportation...
Contact
Monster rabbit terrorizes vegetables, farmers
Contact
Get yourself something nice and     
support HoustonWade.com at the    
same time.  Thank you.
Now, if a few hundred thousand people did this...  I know there are plenty who would like to.
The Christian Science Monitor spells it out for you:
Why 'leaker in chief' charge harms the president
Here.

Excerpt:

President Bush has long railed against leaks of classified information as a threat to national
security; his administration is vigorously investigating unauthorized revelations of classified
material to the press about secret overseas prisons and warrantless wiretapping. Now, a
revelation of grand jury testimony establishes Bush himself as a player in White House efforts
to discredit an Iraq war critic through the use of classified information.

The president is not accused of illegality. And no one questions his legal right to declassify
information. But critics are now charging Mr. Bush with hypocrisy - a development that makes
efforts to put his presidency back on track all the more daunting.

"Here's why this hurts: It reminds people again that the intelligence was bad and we're in Iraq
without end for some of the wrong reasons, and that's at the heart of his 36 percent," says Larry
Sabato, a professor of politics at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, referring to Bush's
job approval rating in recent polls.

I have a challenge:  Name one thing Bush has not fucked up since becoming president.
Contact
Finally, proof that no matter how fat, lazy, disgusting, overweight and unhealthy you may be science will
bail you out...
Scientists develop laser cure-all
Here.

Excerpt:

A FAT-BUSTING laser could make cellulite, acne and even heart disease dissapear, scientists
say.

The device - developed in the US - is able to heat-up fat in the body without harming the skin
above it.

The heated fat is then broken down and excreted by the body.

Advertisement your story continues below
Prof Rox Anderson at Massachusetts General Hospital, led experiments using pig fat and skin
samples.

He said results showed that the process could have many medical applications in the future,
including treating acne. He added: "The root cause of acne is the sebaceous gland, which sits a
few millimetres below the surface of the skin.

Groovy.  Two weeks ago it was sausage that you grew overnight in your kitchen incubator, this week it's
zapping zit makers and hip shakers.
Contact
Yeah, so how about that missing-link "fishapod" thing that was discovered up in Canada?  Cool, huh?

I bet there are a million evangelicals kecking their shorts in rage right now.
Contact
Sorry for the short page but I still have to teach the galactic and extra-galactic astrophysics class about
spiral density waves today and much of my page-making time has been devoted to that.
Yesterday's Issue
Please, If you do use anything off of this site reference it back to me so that I can become famous.  Thank You.
Just stare at those lines.  Isn't it just wigging you out?


A page that looks like it was programmed in 1997 but has everything else that is up-to-date