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On Monday Alaska’s senior senator, the longest serving Republican in the Senate, was found guilty on all seven counts of bribery, failing to report gifts and ethics violations. Now that he is finally guilty, and not just indicted, fellow Republicans are just now calling for his resignation. Way to get on board in the nick of time, half the senate.

Now that Sevens’ seat is too close to call, and that he may go to prison for the rest of his quite numbered days, let’s look back on what a wonderful fellow he has been to America:

There’s more, you get the idea. Ted is evil and a coot. A crazy coot.